Fall, My Season of Change

I haven’t really decided how I wanted to use this blog but as I close out summer with a bag of popcorn and pineapple cider, it’s come clear to me that blogging gives me an emotional freedom that other forms of social media do not. So while I will continue to attempt travel blogs, eco-living posts, and whatever hits my fancy; I am exciting to branch into the things that really matter.

I moved to Dallas four months ago and it finally like I was living a good “adult life”. After almost a year and a half of living in Chicago with highly functioning depression, relying on others for my happiness, and continual weight gain. Finally it felt like I was adulting properly and starting to create my dream life. Recently though, Chicago has come to haunt me. My past keeps creeping in and confusing me on what is good and true and what is just a negative pattern of behavior. Seriously though, I’m getting phone calls, bills, and even questioning my profession right now.

In the past this would have been a perfect excuse to just wallow. I really do love to wallow. I love to eat my feelings, I love to ignore life. That is not healthy and after years of self help books, youtube vlogs, and amazing friends I know that I can’t do that anymore. So this fall I’m taking control.

Fall in the United States has always been a season of new beginnings. Our school systems traditionally started after harvest and in modern times have been a time of new starts, exponential growth, and healing as we come to close in winter. I’ve started this September with a haircut, completely changing my look. It’s not a lot but it’s one way to gain control when it feels as if the outside is trying to control my inside. The next step is to really push myself to reevaluate what needs to be done, make hard phone calls, and move forward.

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